Jokes / Bar Jokes
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Beer quote ->
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin... [cały ->]
Bouncer ->
Q. How many bouncers does it take to throw someone down the stairs? A. None! He fell.... [cały ->]
Cheeseburger ->
A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says "Hey bartender give me a beer". The bartender says - "I'm sorry we don't serve food here".... [cały ->]
Drink to Forget ->
Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."... [cały ->]
Skeleton Joke ->
A Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer... and a mop.... [cały ->]
The bar and chain. ->
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bar tender asks the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain around? The man answered " HEY!! you ever tried pushing one of these things!!"... [cały ->]
A canadian in a Texas bar... ->
A Canadian is on vacation and walks into a bar. He sits on this HUGE stool and says to the bartender' man, I heard things are big down here in Texas, but this is ridiculas!' and orders a mug of beer. He gets a pitcher of beer and asks the bartend... [cały ->]
Bartender Help ->
An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. H... [cały ->]
Beers for everyone! ->
A guy walked into a bar and said "Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender." But when it was time to pay, the guy didn't have the money, so the bartender beat him up. The next day the guy did the same thing, ordered a beer for everyone, even... [cały ->]
Betcha $500.00! ->
A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender looks at the guy and asks: "What's wrong with y... [cały ->]
Crawling Home ->
A guy was sitting in a bar, drinking away. Suddenly he says to the bartender, "I have to go home or the wife will be mad". (at this point he was loaded drunk) He climbed down from the bar stool, and fell flat on his face. The man then said "I can... [cały ->]
Donkey Woman! ->
A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar. The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies", I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass". Th... [cały ->]
Drunk and The $20 Dollar Bills ->
It was New Year's Eve ... by then, actually, it was very early on New Year's morning. The drunk staggered out of the men's room and wobbled his way to the bar. "I, uh, lll..., I'll ha-have anudder. Maske itta dubble." The bartender looks him over ... [cały ->]
Dying Wives! ->
"I was married 3 times" explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said his friend , "How di... [cały ->]
Give Me the Bill ->
Inebriated drinker says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $37.00. The drunk says, "I haven... [cały ->]